You are NOT Self-Made
Something about the term “self-made” has been bugging me for a while now-- and I hadn’t been able to put my finger on why until I read Arlan Hamilton’s book, “It’s About Damn Time.”
Arlan Hamilton
Arlan Hamilton built a venture capital fund from the ground up, while homeless. She is the Founder and Managing Partner of Backstage Capital, a fund that is dedicated to minimizing funding disparities in tech by investing in high-potential founders who are people of color, women, and/or LGBT.
Learn more: www.itsaboutdamntime.com/arlan
Sure it’s important to celebrate your hard work, but the term is problematic. Proclaiming to be self-made is disrespectful to everyone who has helped us. Whether we are successful musicians, business executives, or great parents, someone has helped us directly or indirectly by giving advice, encouraging us, leading by example, giving us our first shot, or giving us a second chance. At the most base level, someone socialized us and taught us the words, manners, and social skills we needed to get where we are.
Do you consider yourself self made or the product of your village? What do you think about the term?
And for those who still argue they have reached success without any assistance, why is that such an important distinction to make? Again, it is important to celebrate your success when you made it without the proverbial silver spoon. But, when I hear people say they are self-made, it seems like they’re relishing in their new elite status instead of slamming the system that caused them to go it alone in the first place. This is a symptom of toxic capitalism that preaches rugged individualism. Trying to make people feel like their success is less than yours because they worked with a group or they got assistance is not okay. Black people especially do best when we do things for and with our collective. The wiser of us heed the African proverb that says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Can we not buy into the idea that being self-made is somehow better than building with your family or your squad?
